


i can be your home (only for the night if you want)

by maywitherspoon



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Mention - Freeform, Mild Sexual Content, Neighbours AU, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, University AU, romeo and juliet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-05-09 07:33:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14711819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maywitherspoon/pseuds/maywitherspoon
Summary: Ava Sharpe just wanted to finish her last two semesters in peace, directing a lesbian rendition of Romeo and Juliet. She certainly didn't expect a flurry of unexpected events in the two semesters she had left. Sara Lance was definitely not included in her plan for finishing her semesters with as much ease as she possibly could. But alas, life never really goes according to one's plans, does it?





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

The rest of the flat looked empty. She should have probably filled it up with more furniture than a bed and a mirror and a fixed coat holder that came with the apartment. She should have probably also had the frayed carpet replaced, and the dull olive-yellow walls painted something bright, something that symbolizes a fresh start like she had originally planned.  _ Probably.  _ But, she’s never going to have people over here. Her social life disappeared when she left, and t was probably for the best. 

 

Her face looked paler than usual, dark circles shadowing her eyes despite having a strict sleeping schedule and she did what any sane person would do in this situation, dab some concealer around it.

 

Ava then tightened her bun, put on her blazer and took her bag from the forlorn coat rack that was attached to the flat since the time she moved in and left her desolated flat behind her and headed out. 

 

The passage reeked of alcohol and varnish, and to her left, she saw the cause of it. The next door apartment was not empty anymore. As she is waiting for her age-old elevator, a loud ruckus caught her attention- the group of eight people who might be occupying the flat were loudly cheering. Her elevator soon arrived and the further she walked away from them, the less she seemed to remember them. 

 

She forgot all about them until that night when there was ear-splitting, head hurting music emitting from that apartment. Ava always liked the night. It was calm. Peaceful. There wasn't an overwhelming burden on your shoulder. There weren't people around you, expecting a lot from you. The stars shone like they always did. The moon played with the clouds until it was time for it to move away from her eyesight. This night should've been like so many others she had experienced in this crappy apartment she had come to call home. 

 

But it wasn’t. 

 

12:53 am, the noise didn’t stop. 

 

1:22 am, the noise somehow worsened, penetrating through her earphones (even system of a down couldn’t shush them). 

 

2:01 am, Ava decided to do something about it. 

 

Quiet footsteps padded through the hallway and before the door, she hesitated. She didn’t want to be  _ that  _ neighbour, her heart told her.

 

Actually, fuck that, they didn’t have a right to be _that_ neighbour _,_ her mind said. Expecting others to suck it up was a classic dick move. 

 

As usual, her mind won over her heart.

 

“I am sure you’re disturbing not only me but everyone in the building,” Ava said as soon as the door opened to reveal a(n extremely beautiful) blonde woman. 

 

The woman merely smirked and tilted her head, opening the door a little more. She had a chin dimple which was perhaps the cutest thing she had ever seen. Her flat was more decorated than Ava’s ever was and she had moved in six months ago. “Why don’t you come in and enjoy a little? You look like you could use a little loosening up.” 

 

Ava’s gaze hardened. “I want you to turn down the music. It is 2 am. I have classes in the morning.”

 

“Do you sleep with that tight bun?” the woman asked, still with that  _ stupid, stupid  _ smirk on her face as she leaned against the door. 

 

“I want you to lower the noise coming out of your apartment. Expecting all your neighbours to suck it and bear the boisterous music is a classic dick move,” Ava said, crossing her arms over her chest. 

 

The woman ignored what she said, “I know someone else you could sleep with if that bun gets too lonely.” 

 

Flustered, Ava said, “Turn down the music,  _ please.”  _

 

“Or what?” the woman challenged. 

 

“Be considerate enough. I am sure this is irritating to  _ all _ your neighbours,” Ava gritted her teeth. 

 

“All my neighbours are here, love. Having  _ fun _ ,” the woman said, taking on a subtle threatening stance. She came closer to Ava. “Except you, of course. You’re more than welcome to come in.”

 

“Do you have permission for this party?” Ava asked, clearly not threatened and stepped closer to her.

 

“Permission to have fun? Come on now, don’t be a prude.”

 

Ava gritted her teeth. “Fine. Have a great night.”

 

“The name is Sara Lance! Don’t go without telling me yours,”  _ Sara  _ exclaimed from behind. 

 

Ava, as a matter of fact, did go without telling Sara hers. 

 

Before she went to bed that night, she called the police. Twenty minutes later, she didn’t need the noise cancelling headphones she had almost ordered.

 

That was the only eventful thing that happened in the uneventful week that followed. Well, that and the glares and slight smirks Sara and her friends threw Ava’s way after that. 

 

Ava did not think their lives would be intertwined after that except the mutual dislike they had for each other. But alas, as fate had it, she was wrong.  _ Very, very, very,  _ wrong. 

 

***

 

“What do you mean by we can’t have a lesbian rendition of Romeo and Juliet? I’ve fought for this!!” Ava exclaimed, running behind the drama head who just wouldn’t stand still for a moment. 

 

“Ah well, I am sorry but the community theatre won’t give a permission for, well,  _ that _ ,” the head coolly said, looking from under her glasses. 

 

“Who cares what the community theatre says? This is 2018, it isn’t illegal at all!” 

 

“Well, we care. If people don’t show up, we can’t pay them back thus we incur a huge loss.”

 

“That would be an excellent dialogue on the bigotry, the university newspaper can then do a cover story on that, resulting in the theatre paying for the losses!” Ava said.

 

Ms Norris rolled her eyes. “Ava, I need you to let this go, It’s just lesbians, we don’t need to shove it under people’s noses.” 

 

Ava glared back, “Well I don’t want to shove a straight couple under people’s noses either but here we are. And what exactly do you mean by that? I just want a lesbian interpretation without the whole dying in it which would be pretty ironic considering all lesbian representation in media ends up with one or two of them dying.” 

 

“People can relate more to the  _ actual  _ story, Ava,” she said.

 

Ava paced back and forth. “You can’t do this.”

 

Ms Norris could, in fact, do that. 

 

“Do you remember the ruckus last time? Don’t want anything akin to that to happen this time,” Norris said. 

 

“It was a straight love story that was borderline erotic, Ms Norris. I can assure you that a lesbian love story would be better.” 

 

“Ava, honey, I appreciate all you’ve done for lesbian representation in the university but just make them straight or you won’t have your minions running behind you calling you Director Sharpe,” she pointedly said, flipping through her pages. Before walking away, she snarkily said, “The auditions for the main cast are in two days. I’d assume you’d want to be the judge of who gets to play the role wouldn’t you?”

 

“I am going to kill her, Gary. I am going to squeeze her giraffe neck and poke her eyes out,” Ava said and banged her fist on the table.

 

“Director Sharpe, calm down,” Gary meekly muttered, still shaken up by the bang that had followed Ava’s admittance to homicidal wishes. 

 

“She doesn’t even try hiding her homophobia which is excellent isn’t it?” Ava said, pacing back and forth. 

 

Gary was about to say something when she started talking again.

 

“You don’t understand, Gary. Oliver Queen will get the lead role like he always, always does, despite having zero acting skills, dedication or anything that makes an actor an actor just with a charming smile and the influence his family has, and-”

 

“His smile is quite charming, though, Ava,” Gary interrupted. 

 

A glare his way and he shut up. 

 

“And a girl he is stringing along will have the lead female role and that’s it, all my dreams of a perfect play will end up in the ruins.” 

 

“Like the fiasco of 2017?” Gary asked. 

 

“Like the fiasco of 2017.” 

 

***

 

“You’re Director Sharpe, aren’t you?” a voice interrupted Ava’s attempt to enter her house. 

 

She looked back, coming face to face with the same blue eyes that had haunted her for a week. 

 

“Sara Lance, right?” Ava asked, her back leaning against her locked door. 

 

“Director Sharpe,” Sara said, a smirk seemingly carved on her face. 

 

Ava narrowed her eyes. “What do you want?” 

 

“To get the lead role in the play you’re directing,” Sara crossed her arms. 

 

“And you think just saying that would get you the role?” Ava asked, raising her eyebrow. 

 

“Well, I was actually trying to charm you,” Sara said, moving a little closer to Ava. 

 

“The audition is tomorrow, Sara. See you there,” Ava muttered, seemingly losing interest in the conversation and again jamming her keys in her lock. 

 

“You don’t understand, Sharpe, I really  _ need  _ that part,” Sara said, a tone of finality in her voice. 

 

“And I really  _ need _ new furniture and I really  _ need _ better neighbours but we don’t get everything we want, Sara,” Ava said with a sarcastic smile on her face.

 

“Look, Sharpe, I need to be in that play, okay? Just get me the lead role.” 

 

The key clicked in, the door opened, and Ava scurried in, closing the door when Sara’s arm stopped it. 

 

“Oliver Queen is going to play the lead, right?” she questioned, her voice a little softer. 

 

Ava arched an eyebrow. “Like always, and let me guess, you want, nay,  _ need  _ the role because you want to keep a check on him so that your prince charming doesn’t fall in love with the lead.” 

 

Sara looked taken aback. “What are you pursuing a degree in? Masters of jumping to conclusions?”

 

“Just a careful observer, Lance. I have seen it happen. Cannot let the fiasco of 2017 happen again. So manage your jealousy and stop acting like a brat,” Ava said, trying to bang the door on her face but Sara’s hand was firm, not even budging. 

 

(Her arms muscles were popping out and Ava was dangerously getting distracted by it and how strong she was despite being much leaner than Ava was but she would never admit these thoughts out loud until after four months of this particular encounter.)

 

Sara squinted, coming closer than Ava usually let strangers in. “What did you call me?” 

 

“A brat, which you definitely are, Sara Lance. Now if you’d just fuck off, I’d make myself some dinner. I am terribly hungry.”

 

“You should really stop assuming. What makes you think I want the role because of Oliver and not someone else?” Sara asked. 

 

“Because no one is apparently immune to his boyish grin,” Ava said, a matter of factly. 

 

“And you are?” Sara asked, a challenge clear in her voice. 

 

“Thank god I’m only into women then, right?” Ava smiled and used the opportunity of Sara’s state of surprise and shocked face to shut the door behind her. 

 

_ Great, _ she thought to herself. Her hot new neighbour was reckless and a probable homophobe.

 

Two more semesters and she was out of here, for good. 

 

Two more semesters. 

  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Moving to a place completely different than one’s hometown was perhaps a bad idea. The silent streets of Des Moines in the middle of Iowa was one of the many bad decisions she had made (for now at least give it a few months and this would successfully be one of the best decisions she had ever made). The silence in the streets only worsened the thoughts in her head. Just how gunshots could be muffled by a variety of loud sounds around it, Sara’s loud thoughts could be muffled by the chaos around her. But walking on the streets of Des Moines, she could literally and figuratively hear crickets. 

 

Moving to a place completely different than one’s hometown was definitely a bad idea. 

 

They moved in a month after their semester had actually started. It was all a haze, really, and ten years later if someone were to ask Sara the details what exactly she remembered of the day she moved in, she’d say nothing, just a person rushing into the elevator that had caught her attention for reasons unknown (she wouldn’t even remember the silly joke Nate had cracked that had caught the said person’s attention, she’d just remember her, rushing like always, in the elevator and soon in her life, turning it’s chaos as organized as her bookshelf). 

 

If someone were to ask Sara the details of the night she moved in, however, she’d remember the exact details of their first encounter. How tipsy Sara had been, how Ava stood in front of her, all tensed and jaw clenched, her fists curled up in a ball, and when she walked away, exasperated, without letting Sara know her name, she thought, no wait, don’t go. But Ava of course did go. 

 

This thought and the feeling were soon kept in a box, never to be opened again in Sara’s brain. And soon the police came and the warm feeling that had been kept in the box turned into a ball of nothingness. Her dad had been disappointed in her, again. “Your sister would be disappointed in you too,” he had said that night when he’d called in multiple favours so that she and her friends didn’t end up in jail. 

 

Sara had blinked back tears, “I know, dad. I know.” Her sister would’ve been disappointed anyway, seeing how she turned out. Even she was disappointed in herself. Three months weren’t a enough time for wounds as fresh as those to heal. No time would ever be enough to heal that wound. 

 

The next week was spent glaring at Ava. In retrospect Sara knew it was unfair to blame Ava when it was her fault too.

 

“What if we prank her?” Mick Rory said one fine evening. “We can burn everything she owns,” he said in a voice that didn’t quite sound like a joke. 

 

Sara, now immune to her friend’s borderline arsonist jokes, chuckled. 

 

Ray Palmer, still not used to it, comically widened his eyes. “That would be unfair, wouldn’t it? She was just doing her duty as a responsible resident and-”

 

“Haircut, shut up,” Mick said, getting up and grabbing another beer. 

 

“Slow down there, won’t you?” Leonard Snart cooly said, taking the bottle away. Then he looked at Sara with a serious look in his eyes. “Let’s break in and vandalize her house.”

 

“That is not happening,” Jax said from behind her. “We should just pull out the stick up her ass maybe?” 

 

“Calm down, guys,” Sara said, her mood drastically improved. “It’s alright, you know? I’m over it. Thank you. Now I’m getting late for class, so see you all later.”

 

If someone ten years down the line asked her any significant thing that happened that week that changed her life for the good, she’d mention how during that sullen walk to university, the wind carried something Sara wouldn’t have the guts to carry. She was hit by a paper telling her how there are auditions to be held for a play- Romeo and Juliet. Sara then, didn’t believe in fate. But ten years later when asked, she’d tell how this significant moment ridiculously felt like fate’s work. 

 

She inspected the paper in hand. This is something her sister would do. And maybe she would if she were here too. And Sara wishes she were here, telling her how auditioning is crazy, but you should try it anyway, Sara. You can do this, Sara, with a gentle smile on her face.

 

You know when you’re highlighting a an important sentence in your textbook with a highlighter and you want it engraved in your memory so you highlight it a lot of times only for the paper to tear and the words to disappear and then the only thing that remains is the stain and the torn page? The memories inside Sara’s brain were highlighted that way. She clutched the paper hard in her hand. 

 

Maybe she should give the audition, she thought. There’s nothing wrong in doing that. 

 

“Oh, you’re auditioning for this?” Oliver Queen asked her, walking towards her that very second. 

 

“I don’t know, are you?” Sara replied, turning to face him. 

 

“Well, I want to, but I don’t know if Sharpe would let me after last year. But I want to so maybe I’ll ask mum to talk to the drama head, again,” he stage whispered the last part, his eyes twinkling.

 

Sara chuckled and then drew her eyebrows together. “What happened last year?”

 

“I have been instructed that I would be castrated if I were to mention about it without her permission,” he said, taking a shuddering breath. If Sara didn’t know any better, she’d assume he was trembling. 

 

Sara raised her eyebrow and smirked a little. “Oliver Queen scared of someone? I can hardly imagine.”

 

“Pfft,” he said, colour rising in his cheeks. “So are you?” he asked after a moment as they walked towards her class. 

 

“I don’t know yet,” she said. 

 

Oliver stopped suddenly, turning to face her. “Please do, Sara, you know you’re good at acting and whatnot. It also gives you extra credits, which means no late night paper writing for that for-,” he said and then stopped. 

 

For the month you missed, because your sister died and you needed time off and now you need extra credits to make up for that time, was left unsaid, dying in Oliver’s mouth. It was never a good time to be reminded of a dead sister. 

 

Sara looked away and took a deep breath. “Right.” 

 

“Oh come on, Sara. You know you want to. And you’d be playing opposite to me so that’d make it all better, you see?” Oliver pleaded. 

 

Sara was confused. “Why do you care so much, Ollie? And what makes you think I’ll get the main role. Don’t you remember the-”

 

“-Peter Pan incident? Yes, I do. This will be different. Sara, you are an amazing actress, don’t you realise?” 

 

“Oliver, I don’t know, alright? I just want to finish these years without any trouble,” Sara said, clutching her books tightly. But, extra credits sounded nice. Doing something she liked for extra credits than tedious papers sounded even better. 

 

Oliver looked passed her, squinting his eyes and then held Sara’s shoulders, turning her in the opposite direction. 

 

“Look,” he said, pointing his fingers to a figure in the distance that looked like her neighbour. “That’s Director Sharpe,” he said.

 

The figure moved closer. That was her neighbour. Sara could recognize that bun anywhere. “That’s Director Sharpe?”

 

Her heart picked up speed only because it intensely hated Ava. Yup. Hatred was the reason she felt a little warm too. 

 

“That is she, correct,” Oliver said, turning her back to face him. 

 

“I’ll think about it, Ollie. I’m getting late, so,” she said and pointed her thumbs in the direction of her class and left immediately. 

 

That evening, she spoke to Ava. She was trying to unlock her door, her mouth etched in a perpetual frown. She carefully approached her and started talking.

 

“A brat, which you definitely are, Sara Lance. Now if you’d just fuck off, I’d make myself some dinner. I am terribly hungry,” Ava said, clearly crossed. 

 

“You should really stop assuming. What makes you think I want the role because of Oliver and not someone else?” Sara asked, her nose flaring. She had no right to judge her like that. 

 

“Because no one is apparently immune to his boyish grin,” Ava said, matter of factly. Which was true, except Sara was definitely immune. After everything that happened-

 

“And you are?” Sara asked then, a challenge clear in her voice. 

 

“Thank god I’m only into women then, right?” Ava smiled and used the opportunity of Sara’s state of surprise and shocked face to shut the door behind her. 

 

Great, she thought to herself. Her hot new neighbour was a control freak and into women.

 

This situation would’ve been everything Sara could’ve dreamed of, if her neighbour hadn’t been a Grade A dick. 

 

***

 

“So you’re giving the audition because you’re attracted to her?” Zari asked with her mouth full. 

 

“No!” Sara exclaimed, a little flustered. “She’s so judgmental and calm, but always fucking angry somehow like what the fuck is up with that? And-”

 

“Really?” Zari interrupted. “You haven’t stopped talking about her for 20 whole minutes.” 

 

“No!” Sara exclaimed, frustrated. “I was going to give the audition even before Oliver told me she’s the one directing it. I get extra credits AND you know how I’ve always loved acting.”

 

“Right,” Amaya said, “that’s definitely what happened. I certainly believe you, Sara. I am undoubtedly with you,” she said in a tone suggesting that she definitely knew that that’s not what happened and that she certainly didn’t believe Sara and that she undoubtedly wasn’t with her.

 

“I cannot deal with the both of you ganging up on me like this. Gideon, back me up here,” she gritted her teeth. 

 

From the computer, Gideon said, “Given your history of sometimes doing things because you wanted to bone beautiful people, Sara, I don’t think this is a far fetched conclusion.”

 

“Oh, but she’s evil, you guys, even if I get a role she’ll make my life living hell. The auditions are at 7, you guys, this is hell. No person is bonable enough for me to wake up this early. I am doing this because of MY passion,” Sara defiantly muttered. 

 

“Is that why you went to her in the evening to just ask her for the role rather than actually auditioning?” Zari asked.

 

“No, I was just um... testing her, to see if she uhm, you know, gives people a role just like that,” Sara mumbled. 

 

Amaya just raised her eyebrow and Zari rolled her eyes. 

 

“I really want the role, you guys, but how can I when she seems to glare daggers at me?” Sara groaned. 

 

“I mean, to be fair, we were the ones doing that-” Zari started and with a glare thrown her way by Sara, she said, “but I’ll shut up right now.” 

 

“Why don’t you make her not hate you then?” Amaya asked.

 

“And how do I do that?” 

 

“Just tell her how you seemed to have rocky chance, but you’d like to see where this friendship goes,” Amaya said. 

 

Despite the one time glow in her heart, Sara was adamant. She shook her head. “I won’t mean that, though, I don’t actually want to befriend her, she seems like the kind of person who’d be following all the rules ever,” she said. 

 

“Maybe, she’d be a good influence,” Shari said. “God knows we need that.” 

 

“Or maybe,” Mick said from behind, “you just start a friendship without actually being friends. People do that all the time.” 

 

“Won’t that be a bit rude?” Zari questioned. 

 

“Sometimes you gotta play dirty,” he said, sipping his beer. 

 

“Mick is right, Sara. At the end it depends on what’s more important to you, the extra credits that will literally save your ass from failing or a small little lie,” Leonard Snart said, coming behind Mick. 

 

***

 

The night passed as it always did. Cold, silent, restless, sleepless. When sleep finally came around 4am, she woke up with a nightmare within two mere hours.

 

So, the night passed as it always did. Inhospitable, hushed, agitated, disturbed, and nightmarish. 

 

When she woke up the sun was barely peeking out of the window. The October air was cold in the morning, hitting her as she drank her coffee and watched the sunrise. 

 

Sara had never been for lists but today, she had a list in mind. 

 

Nail her audition (she even did voice exercises and read the whole play last night in preparation)

Charm Ava (her google search history proved she was really researching how to make someone like you when they hate you)

Have a good fucking day. 

 

She clutched the chain that she was wearing that originally belonged to her sister. Today, today was a good day. She’ll have to make it a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO as you might've guessed, i know nothing of the american university system, but this is what happens where i live so i've kinda mixed them both (it is fiction so it can be excusable, right?? :P)


	3. Chapter 3

She was absolutely  _ not  _ having a good day. Her hair was a mess and somehow out of all days her bun could look messy it decided that today was the day. Cursing, she didn’t even have time to fix the suddenly sentient bun that Ava would later blame the bad day on. Besides, her alarm didn’t go off either and within 10 minutes, she had to reach her university to see people act out a play she didn’t even want to direct. 

 

Maybe, she hoped, Oliver won’t be there. Sara wouldn’t be there either. People who intrinsically wanted to be a part of the play she was directing, would be there and the day would go much better than the morning. She huffed out and decided that today was going to be a productive day. As she was trying to redo her bun for the hundredth time that morning, the smell of burnt toast entered her nostrils. To her right, she located the source of it. 

 

Well, she thought whilst holding two burning, pitch black slices in her hand, at least it couldn’t get worse than this. 

 

***

Just how the higher cosmic power decides to test everyone who claims ‘It couldn’t get worse than this’ by, in fact, making it worse, Ava’s day got significantly worse.

 

“So, you’re telling me that the air conditioning here isn’t working?” Ava asked. 

 

The worker, bored out of his mind nonchalantly nodded his head. 

 

“You’re telling me,” Ava started again, taking deep breaths to stop herself from pulling the man’s hair out. “You’re telling me that the only source of air in this theatre that has no ventilation except for one tiny window is not working?” 

 

The worker nodded again, inspecting his nails from afar. 

 

“And you couldn’t inform the club ahead?”

 

The worker again nodded. 

 

“This audition has to happen today, I hope you know that,” Ava said. “I literally cannot postpone the auditions.” 

 

The worker finally spoke, rolling his eyes whilst saying, “Well, you see, that’s really not my concern.” 

 

Ava glared at him with eyes agape, taking a threatening step towards the worker who now looked a little concerned. “It is literally your concern. We booked the theatre for today. You’re supposed to inform the management if something isn’t working.” 

 

“Listen, lady,” the worker said with wide eyes, taking a step behind still trying hard to maintain a nonchalant stance and gulped a little. 

 

“Listening,” Ava said from between her teeth, her blood boiling. Ava must’ve looked thunderous especially in the dim, low lighting of the theatre, because he immediately gave in, scrambling and going through his papers. 

 

“We can put in two portable fans on the stage and one towards where you are sitting,” he said, and if observed closely, you’d see his hands shaking just a little bit. 

 

“You can do that?” Ava asked, still not dropping her glare. 

 

“Affirmative, ma’am,” he said. 

 

“Do it as soon as possible then,” she snapped. 

 

He merely nodded before scurrying off. 

 

Ava sighed, sitting down and rubbing her fingers against her temples. Just a few hours and this day will be over, just like the other days. Just a few more hours. 

 

“Geez, that was horrible. Does this happen every time?” a voice said from behind.

 

Ava turned her head and looked closely at the person asking that question, her finally coming into the light. 

 

Ava scoffed. “More or less. What are you doing here so early? Auditions don’t start for another 30 minutes.” 

 

Sara smiled, sitting on a seat beside Ava. “Just wanted to see how the theatre looks.” 

 

Ava raised her eyebrow. “Right.” 

 

“No, I’m serious, before performing I need to know that the stage looks like or it just distracts me while I’m performing,” Sara said, grinning more than Ava had seen her smile all the while she had seen her. 

 

Ava chose to not reply to that. She used to do the same, back when she performed. 

 

She was suffocated with Sara’s strong perfume, something earthy and sweet with a hint of bubblegum. Her attention was then directed to Sara rustling beside her that stopped when she held out a cup of coffee. Ava quizzically looked at it.  

 

“I bought it for you,” Sara mumbled later. 

 

A little dumbstruck, Ava leaned back before graciously accepting it. “Thanks,” she said. 

 

Awfully thoughtful for someone who looked like she wanted to kill her just four days ago. Maybe the drink was poisoned, Ava said. 

 

Sara smiled and leaned back, sipping her own cup. 

 

“God, it’s awfully hot in here, isn’t it?” she said, removing her shrug and leaving her in a black tank top. 

 

Ava gulped and looked away. Instead of setting her at ease, it just made her even more suspicious. 

 

Ava was still not convinced that the drink wasn’t poisoned. “I am still not convinced that the drink isn’t poisoned,” said Ava. 

 

Sara snorted and then put her hand over her mouth, her eyes open wide. “I’d never poison the lady who might just give me the role in the play.”

 

“Buying me a coffee won’t make me choose you over others, Sara,” Ava said, only half-jokingly. 

 

Sara grinned back. “How about a coffee shop then?” 

 

“I am not that easy to please, Sara,” Ava said.

 

“I wouldn’t have ever imagined you as easily pleased, Ava Sharpe,” Sara said, looking at Ava with a tilt in her head and an artfully placed smirk. Maybe the theatre just got ten degrees hotter. 

 

Ava cleared her throat. “Right,” she said, at last, taking a sip out of the coffee. “Thanks for the coffee. How much do I owe you?” 

 

Sara shook her head, “I owe you an apology. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot earlier. And I want to start over.” 

 

Ava said nothing, just looked at Sara and hoped her headache didn’t worsen by the end of this.

 

That didn’t deter Sara. “We’re neighbours and now we’ll be working together. I imagine the friction between us cause unnecessary problems.”

 

Ava sceptically nodded and sipped her lukewarm coffee. “Right, is that all?” 

 

Sara looked a little defeated. “Yeah, pretty much,” she said, at last, her blue eyes darting around the theatre. 

 

Both of them sipped their coffee in silence for a few minutes that followed. Ava made a mental list of all the pros and cons of starting over with Sara. The cons, of course, outweighed the pros. But-

 

“You’re right, Sara,” Ava said at last. “We should definitely start over.” 

 

Even logic and lists seemed vain in front of Sara’s hopeful blue eyes. 

 

Sara grinned, the type of grin that lit her face more than the lights in the theatre. That’s when Ava realised what a contagious smile looked like. 

 

Ava smiled back and for a moment, it was all perfect. 

 

“Director Sharpe,” said Gary as he came rushing in. “Oliver Queen wants to play the lead.” 

 

As stated before, it was perfect only for a moment. 

 

Ava cleared her throat and stood up, smiling a little on the inside. “Okay, we’ll make him the lead.” 

 

Gary widened his eyes. “Director Sharpe, we can’t. Don’t you remem-”

 

“Yes, we can,” Ava smiled. “And we will. Bring it on, Gary.” 

 

Gary looked shocked, gaping wide at Ava, and then moved closer, holding the back of his hand to Ava’s head. “Are you ill?” 

 

Ava furrowed her eyebrows and smacked his hand away. “Gary, stop. I am serious, alright? Giving people a second chance, that’s what this is all about, alright?” 

 

Gary dutifully nodded. “Yes, I understand, but this is probably the fourth chance you’ve given him,” 

 

Ava smiled. “Can’t be too bad, right?” 

 

Gary, first concerned, now suspicious moved closer. “Do you have a plan, Ava?” 

 

Ava grinned. “When do we ever go down without a fight, Gary?” 

 

Gary seemed to understand what was happening and just nodded, communicating “Tell me what you have in mind whenever you can.” with his body language. 

 

Sara, from her seat, who was saw the whole conversation had her mouth quirked up, a default smirk on her face. “What’s happening here?” she asked. 

 

Gary, for the first time, looked at her and asked, “Who is that?” 

 

“This is Sara,” said Ava, raising her cup in her direction. “She’s my neighbour and is also auditioning today,” she said, looking back at Gary. 

 

“Fraternizing with the auditionee isn’t usually your style, Ava,” Gary said with a smirk of his own. 

 

Ava rolled her eyes and slowly shook her head, “No fraternization here, Gary,” she said, “just getting along.” 

 

“Ah, getting along, I see,” said Gary. 

 

“No you don’t,” said Ava.  

 

“Okay,” said Sara, with a smirk etched on her face, “I’m going to leave now, it’s almost time for me to go backstage.” 

 

“All the best,” Ava said. 

 

The smirk wiped off of Sara’s face, replaced with a genuine tiny smile. “Thank you,” and she sauntered off. 

 

“Is Ava Sharpe actually making a friend?” muttered Gary, in awe, to say the least. 

 

“Shut up,” said Ava. 

 

“Are you sure she’s not being friendly because she wants a part in the play?” Gary asked, going ahead and setting the table where they were supposed to sit. 

 

Ava went over to help him out with it. “She seemed genuine and you know I can read body language well, don’t you?” 

 

“Yeah,” Gary said, putting the water bottles he brought with on the table, “it’s just, you never know, you know?” 

 

“Besides,” pfft-d Ava, “it wouldn’t really matter if it did, because well, I’m not really attached to her and this is honestly the first real conversation we’ve had that didn’t end up in us glaring at each other.” 

 

“It wouldn’t matter?” questioned Gary.

 

“It wouldn't,” asserted Ava, her eyes darting back and forth. 

 

_ It shouldn’t _ , her mind supplied.  _ It really shouldn’t _ .

 

“It wouldn’t,” she repeated again, this time with less poise. 

 

“If you say so,” he said, sitting down on one of the seats, which is when Ms Norris walked in. 

 

“You ready for this?” Gary asked, grinning. 

 

Ava grinned back as she sat down. “When am I not?” 

 

People soon came in and went, some capturing the pain of Romeo in just a few first lines and the others, as plain as Ava’s apartment walls. Some fumbling, nervous bundle of energies that they were while others had confidence pouring through. 

  
  


And then Sara came on, her eyes boring into Ava’s a smile reflecting from them.  Her posture was a bit slouched as if she was trying to dwindle down. The wind from the fans set on both sides of the stage tossed her hair. She cleared her throat, leaving the chain she had previously been clutching and stepped forward in the middle of the stage. The next minute that she spoke, left the both of them surprised. It seemed even Sara couldn’t believe her performance. 

 

“Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds,

Towards Phoebus' lodging: such a wagoner

As Phaethon would whip you to the west,

And bring in cloudy night immediately…”

 

The zest, the passion, the love, the keenness, the passion, all came radiating through her lines. It took a lot of deep breaths for Ava to maintain an air of professional apathy that she had no problem in maintaining.

 

“…To an impatient child that hath new robes

And may not wear them. O, here comes my nurse,

And she brings news; and every tongue that speaks

But Romeo's name speaks heavenly eloquence.” 

 

When Sara finished, Ava gave her a small smile which Sara returned.

 

“Wow,” said Gary, “she would’ve gotten that part even without fraternizing with you.” 

 

“I’m sure that wasn’t her reason for talking to me and getting me coffee,” said Ava, scribbling down the judgement of Sara’s performance.

 

A few others soon came and went, and Ava could finally see the basics of the play that she had planned. 

 

Gary turned towards Ava. “She got you coffee?” 

 

A little overwhelmed (as she always got after these tedious auditions) and a little embarrassed (for some unexplainable, illogical reason she felt like she just told something private), she drew her attention straight towards the stage and said, “Yeah, she did.”

 

She didn’t need to turn her head to see Gary’s eyebrows raised. “Was it the right order?”

 

Ava awkwardly coughed, to release the little bit of tension she felt. “Yeah,” she said, chewing her pencil.

 

“Wow,” he said at last. 

 

Some twenty years later, when her friends would ask Ava to describe their first date, she’d say a dim, sweaty auditorium, a mindful blonde with an extra coffee cup that sparked something new between two strangers who weren’t particularly fond of each other, and a coffee which was of the same kind she drank, black with a pinch of sugar and a splash of milk. 

 

But for now, she smiled a little, “Yeah, Gary. She apparently has the same order as me.”

 

Some twenty weeks later, Sara would finally confess how although she loved the occasional jolt of caffeine in her system, she hated all coffees that didn’t have at least 3 sugars in it and Ava would be mortified, to say the least before laughing at her naivety. 

 

But for now, Gary said, “How fortunate is that?” 

 

Two hours later, the panel of auditioners had a concise list of all the people shortlisted for the play. For the first time in a long time, Ava could finally see a proper baseline of the play she had planned. 


	4. Chapter 4

Sara remembered being ten and learning how to fight with her sister. It was one of those memories that kept replaying in your head whenever everything around you got loud and unclear.  
  
“Sara,” Laurel had said, her voice, the same, her hair, the same, even her wardrobe, the same as it was the last she saw her. Only her eyes were younger yet bearing more experience than Sara could even imagine experiencing at that age. “Sara,” she had called again, gathering her in her arms.   
  
“I don't want to be afraid, Laurel,” she had said.   
  
Her sister had smiled, “It's alright, hon. You can feel scared. You're only human.”   
  
“I hate this, it's like my brain asking me to always run from bad situations-”   
  
“And sometimes, you should listen to it,” she had said. “You shouldn't always fight back. Your mind knows better, Sara. But if you choose to fight back, give it all you have.”   
  
“Okay,” Sara had said, “Will you also promise to flee when your mind says the same?”   
  
“Yes,” Laurel had answered, latching her pinky to Sara's extended one.   
  
But nine years later, Laurel had fought back and that left Sara's mind aching and heart broken. Nine years later, she knew that was an empty promise. Laurel had always been a fighter.  
When she went backstage, she was greeted by a flurry of nervous energy which did nothing to calm the nervous knot of energy in her stomach. It in fact worsened it and her fight and flight instinct kicked in. This memory burned bright in her brain, repeating over and over until all she remembered was the feeling attached to the words rather than the words. Her mind was screaming for her to run. Sara had always been a fighter.   
  
From the backstage, she could see Ava, talking to the timid looking man. She peeked out, trying to make sense of the last few minutes that transpired between them. Talking to Ava had been quite contradictory to how she had imagined it. She had been prepared to grovel for forgiveness, but it had been easy. Sara realised that they could actually be friends and that thought would’ve scared her but somehow, it didn't.   
  
It was Sara's turn to audition soon and when she got on stage, the lights seemed a little too bright, the stage, a little too wobbly, and the audience, a little too condescending. All that helped then, was concentrating on a neutral point, and feigning confidence which soon became real confidence.  
  
At the end of it, the look in their eyes affirmed one thing for sure- she had crushed the audition. And then Ava gave her a small smile and Sara felt the nervous ball in her stomach turn into a bowl of butterflies rolling uncomfortably in her stomach. She took a deep breath, returning the smile and running back stage. There, she dialed Amaya's number.   
  
"Sara, it's 8:15 in the morning. It better be good news," she mumbled.   
  
"I auditioned, Amaya! I did it! I didn’t run off, And it went so, so good, I can’t believe it!" Sara rambled.  
  
"Isn't that why you went there?" Amaya asked.  
  
"Well, yeah, but uh- see, t's a good thing because you don't realise the courage it took to do this," Sara said, her energy deflating a little.   
  
Amaya snorted, "You single-handedly fought 5 men last month, Sara. I doubt this took half the courage as that."  
  
"Well, it's relative, I guess," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose.   
  
Amaya sighed. "All I meant was, we all believed in you, Sara. The fact that you did so wonderfully isn't a surprise to me because I knew you could do it.”  
  
"Right," said Sara, slightly deflated and disappointed. “Thanks,” she said.   
  
“Always,” Amaya replied.   
  
“Class is starting in ten minutes, I'll call you later?” Sara said, walking in the direction of her class.   
  
“See you later, Sara. We’ll make pasta tonight.”   
  
The rest of the day passed as slowly as it could. The wait was torturous, and usually, Sara didn’t want her Feminist Theory and Popular Culture class to get over, but today, it was a different story altogether. It was almost four by the time all her classes concluded and so, when the bell finally rang, she sped out of the room in a hurry.   
  
As she was running out towards where the callback list might’ve been put up, she crashed into Ava.   
  
“Oof,” Ava said, holding the coffee away on instinct.   
  
Sara looked up, surprised, greeting her with a smile of her own. Ava’s scent crowded all her senses, something balsamic with a hint of lavender. She looked put together like always, not a hair out of place, not a stain on her white shirt, not a smudge on her black boots. Sara gasped a little.  
  
“Sara,” Ava said, tilting her head, a smile on her face.   
  
“Ava,” Sara said, holding her bottom lip between her teeth. Sara imagined herself looking bashful, in the aura of someone so... _different_ from her. The air, Sara imagined had been thickening a little, so little that it made breathing a little difficult for her.   
  
“Wow, a third cup of coffee already, huh? It usually takes me, um, I don’t know, three days to get there,” she coyly said, twisting the loose threads on the sleeve of her cardigan.    
  
Ava smiled bashfully, “Not that it’s any of your business, Sara, but it’s actually my fifth cup.”  
  
“How are you so calm? I’d be in a constant state of unrest by now,” Sara asked, a bit amazed and concerned about Ava’s health.   
  
Ava was just about to reply, when Sara’s phone ding’d, which averted her gaze from Ava’s intense ones to her phone.   
  
**_From Zari: (4:08 pm)_**  
  
 _AKHJKWAHF Sara, we’re locked out and Mick is the only one in, sleePING! Come home soon!!_  
  
 ** _To Zari: (4:08 pm)_**  
  
 _Come home to you, Ray, and Leonard eating each other’s head out? Why I’d love that._  
  
 ** _From Zari: (4:09 pm)_**  
  
 _Lower your expectations, it isn’t what you’ve imagined._   
  
“I’ve to go,” she said, stepping back. “We’ll see each other later?”   
  
“Yeah,” said Ava, a sliver of disappointment seeping through her word, but Sara was too distracted and too much of a stranger to notice it, yet. (Give it a month, though, there’d be nothing left unsaid that Sara wouldn’t be able to pick up on.)  
  
Sara was walking backwards, glancing back at Ava’s retreating figure, only to ask, “Hey, is the callback list put up?”   
  
“Yeah,” Ava said, with a tight lipped smile.   
  
“Cool, thanks,” Sara said, not bothering to look up from her phone, running where the auditorium was.    
  
***  
  
Sara rushed the little loft she’d started calling home, only to be welcomed by a disturbed Ray and nonchalant Zari and Leonard.   
  
“What are you guys doing here?” asked Sara, leaning against the railing of the steps.   
  
“How are you not panting?” asked Ray, who now looked more concerned than ever.   
  
“Years of training, Ray. What’s happening here?” Sara asked, gesturing his folded fingers.  
  
“Nothing important, Sara, we were just having a… talk,” said Leonard said, coming in front of Ray. “You tell us, did you get in?”  
  
A grin that had not left her face from the theatre returned, only more wide. “My name’s in the callback, fuckers ” she yelled. “God, I’m so happy that when I saw it I felt like I was going to vomit, y’all, it was surreal!”  
  
All their faces lit up, coming forward to gather Sara in their arms, holding her tight. “I knew it!” exclaimed Zari. “Oh, I am so happy for you,” she cried, “you deserve it!”   
  
“Thank you guys,” Sara said, almost teary eyed.   
  
“So you’ll get the extra credits you need for your course, now?” asked Ray.   
  
“Yeah, I will, and I’ll get to perform too! How amazing is that?” she said, pulling away from them.   
  
“Being cordial with Ms. Tight Bun worked, didn’t it?” Zari asked.   
  
“I wouldn’t-um-call her that,” Sara said, feeling a little off about them calling her that.   
  
“Why not?” Leonard asked, tilting his head, with a smirk on his face as if he knew exactly why.   
  
“Oh, you know, she isn’t as bad as I once thought she was,” Sara asked, making eye contact with everything but two shocked and one smug face in front of her.   
  
“Yeah, cause she’s the worst,” Mick said, coming out of the flat, closing the door behind him.   
  
“NO!” screamed Zari. “Mick you stupid fool, we asked you to let us in not close the door behind you!”   
  
“Oops,” Mick said, taking a bite out of his hot dog.   
  
“Don’t you think faking a friendship with someone for a mere role is um- immoral?” Ray asked.   
  
“I didn’t fake a friendship with her,” Sara said, defending herself and sitting on the stairs, rubbing her hands together. “I just, brought her coffee and we talked, we started over.” She wasn’t going to tell them that she actually enjoyed talking to Ava, she enjoyed the way she always tried to maintain a straight face, and her twinkling eyes always gave it away.   
  
“Oh come on,” said Leonard, slapping Ray’s back. He yelped, as Leonard continued saying, “It’s okay if you faked being nice. That’s what life is all about. You fake being nice to people because you want something from them.”   
  
“No,” chided Ray. “You be nice to people because you are nice. What you described is taking advantage of other people's niceness.”  
  
“Ray, chill, no one preyed on anyone.I just brought her coffee, and we talked, that was it,” Sara said. “Where is all this stemming from?”   
  
Ray’s fists were clenched, he was agitated. “Just, don’t give her the false idea of anything, okay? It’s not fair to her.”   
  
“Look, the auditions are over, she’ll be directing the play and that’s it. We won’t even have to be friends for that. I was just being nice to her cause she was the judge, don’t want her to judge me by any preconceived notions,” Sara said, which was true for the record, but only what she had believed before talking to her. She wasn’t going to tell her friends that, she wouldn’t hear the end of it.    
  
“How was it with her?” Zari asked, crossing her hands across her chest.   
  
“Better than I expected. I thought there’d be-” angry screaming, a horrid fight only to be broken apart by security, losing her voice fighting with her before the audition “-friction,” she explained, furrowing her eyebrows, pursing her lips. “But it was much, much better,” she said, nodding her head.   
  
“Hey, maybe she needs you to remove that stick, ya know?” Mick said, chuckling.   
  
Sara forced a laugh, pointedly ignoring the comment.  
  
Just then, Ava walked passed them and Sara’s heart skipped a beat.  
  
“Ava,” Sara said, breathing a little heavily, her heart dropping to her stomach.   
  
Ava didn’t dare look at her, just went to unlock her door.   
  
Sara rushed there, her heart beating furiously in her chest.   
  
“Ava,” she said again. “Hey there,” she said, awkwardly.   
  
Ava didn’t pay attention to her at all, trying to furiously unlock her door. Sara looked at her friends for help, which was pretty useless, except for the stab of guilt she felt when she looked at Ray’s face.   
  
Ava finally looked at her, as her door clicked open. “You don’t need to be nice to me, Sara, the audition is over.”  
  
“Ava, no, that was taken out of context,” Sara almost-begged, holding the door again, like she did the last time she was here.   
  
“It really wasn’t, Sara. I heard the whole thing.”   
  
Sara drew her eyebrows together, “So you were eavesdropping.”   
  
Ava gave a defeated sigh. “I wasn’t. I heard my name, I listened. I am so glad I did, though.”   
  
“Ava, let me explain myself, please,” Sara said, embarrassment burning through her system.  
  
Ava raised her eyebrow, “I’m listening.”   
  
“So, okay, I did get you coffee because I wanted to be nice to you in order for you to not be biased against me because I really wanted this, but after we talked, I realised I actually want to be friends with you,” Sara explained.   
  
Ava tipped her head. “You doubted my professionalism, huh? I don’t go in with preconceived notions. I am completely objective in my judgement. Unfortunately for you, I don’t believe you now,” she said with a tight lipped smile, trying to close the door.   
  
Sara’s flight and fight instincts kicked in again. Her brain was asking her to flee. But she was a fighter.   
  
“Let me prove it to you, then,” Sara said, and then- “to be fair though, I didn’t know you enough to make a judgement about how professional you were.”   
  
Ava’s gaze hardened. “Let me close the door, Sara. You don’t need to prove anything to me, okay? We hardly know each other.”  
  
“Ava, look, you need to understand-”   
  
“Sara, leave the door. Let’s keep whatever we have strictly professional?” Ava questioned.   
  
“Oh my god, you’re so stubborn,” Sara groaned, “let me just-”   
  
“I am the stubborn one?” Ava asked incredulously, “You are the stubborn one, let me go.”  
  
“Not if you let me prove it to you that I want to be friends with you,” Sara said, desperately.   
  
“The only reason you want that is because you’re too stubborn to admit that you fucked up,” Ava said.   
  
Sara gasped, “Wow, you really are cold, aren’t you?”   
  
Ava gritted her teeth, narrowing her eyes. “I’ll be completely objective about this whole ordeal. I won’t harass you and will treat you like I’d treat every other professional. Once the play is over, we don’t even have to see each other again. You don’t ever have to be nice to me again.”   
  
Sara, now incredibly annoyed, said, “You won’t even give me a chance, would you?”   
  
“Oh, I did, Sara. You didn’t even deny a single statement your friends made, so I am sorry if I can’t trust you right now.” Ava said, her voice rising a couple of pitches.   
  
“Oh my god, you think the world revolves around you? You’re honestly the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met!” Sara yelled.   
  
“Good, you’ll finally have half a taste of your medicine!” Ava yelled back and in a fury of adrenaline, she pushed the door, almost hitting Sara in the face.   
  
“This isn’t even such a big deal and the only reason this hurt you so much is because you have no friends, only a measly assistant who is scared of you!” Sara angrily said, a statement she’ll soon regret and a statement that’ll keep repeating in Ava’s head for a long time.   
  
“At least I’m not a fake bitch, Sara!” Ava screamed back.   
  
Sara angrily banged her fists on her door, breathing heavily, and almost instantly, a wave of regret passed over her.   
  
The rattling of the keys startled her, and her eyes met the stupefied ones of her friends.   
  
“What was that?” Amaya when they all settled around her.  
  
“She thought that I faked our whole conversation,” Sara said.   
  
“But you did, didn’t you?” Amaya asked.   
  
“Not the whole thing, I actually enjoyed having a conversation with her before she revealed her true colours,” Sara muttered bitterly.   
  
“Why didn’t you deny everything we said? No wonder she’s mad,” Zari said.  
  
Sara glared at Zari. “But she did overreact a little, didn’t she?”   
  
Zari and Amaya exchanged looks. “If someone I hit it off with did this, I’d react the same way,” Amaya said at last.   
  
“You should apologize to her,” Ray said.   
  
“Haircut, she doesn’t need to. Her job is done, isn’t it? She said she’s going to not treat you any differently and that she won’t interact with her. What more does one need?” Mick contributed.   
  
“Unless she has a soft spot for Ms. Tight Bun,” Leonard accurately deduced.  
  
“Of course I don’t,” Sara denied the only thing she shouldn’t have, “but I will apologize to her.”   
  
For the record, she does apologize, and it goes exactly how she’d imagined it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the delay and sorry for the sucky writing in this chapter as well
> 
> hope you've all had good days/are having good days. if not, just contact me and i'll bombard you with pictures of cute animals. <33

Ava’s first memory of her guardian wasn’t what had actually happened. No memories are, and maybe that is what makes memories either too easy to access or too difficult. All she remembered was sandy blond hair and blue eyes giving her the bear she had been crying for. She remembered feeling safe with him, him wrapping his arms around her, soothing her cries out. After that all she associated with her guardian was safety. He had taught her how to fight, he had taught her most of the skills she required to become a successful, highly functioning adult.

 

He had also inadvertently taught her how to survive without him. Old memories soon morphed into a nightmare and Ava woke up with a start. She had stopped having _his_ dreams the month after he left. Four years later, however, the ache in her chest was persistent. 

 

It was a week and three days after the auditions, which had sustained with uninterrupted ease, something Ava had been missing. The ease was familiar. It had been missing since before Sara crashed into Ava's life. The cast was finalised, the reimagined script was coming together with seven major changes that made it less problematic than the actual play, and Sara had apologized.

 

She made eye contact with herself in the mirror and shook her head. She absolutely could not be coming to her mind right now. She groaned, trying to revamp her thought process.

 

The cast was finalised, the reimagined script was coming together with seven major changes that made it less problematic than the actual play, and now she was going out for a brunch with her friends.

 

Her friends who weren’t backstabbing, who didn’t just pretend to be friends with her. They wouldn’t be all having brunch together every other Sunday if they didn’t like her...right?

 

Panicked, Ava tried grounding techniques to stop herself from falling down that hole when the doorbell rang. She took a shaky breath. 

 

“Rose,” she said while opening the door, “You’re always so-” she cut herself off- “You’re not Rose,” she said, at last, making eye contact with a very familiar man with hopeful, kind eyes.

 

“It would appear so, yes,” the man said. He held a small basket of what it appeared to be cookies, looking at Ava as if she might let him in. Ava just held the door with one hand, leaning on the door frame.

 

“How may I help you?” she said at last.

 

The man suddenly looked nervous, his eyes darting all over the place, the basket suddenly a lot to small in his hands. Ava raised her eyebrow.

 

He cleared his throat, “You’re Ava Sharpe, right?” he asked.

 

“The last I checked, yes,” Ava replied, now running out of patience.

 

“I am Ray, your next-door neighbour,” he said, at last, shuffling the basket in his hands.

 

Ava took a deep breath. That’s how he looked so familiar. “You’re Sara’s roommate?”

 

“Yeah,” he said, and then, “May I come in?”

 

Ava narrowed her eyes in suspicion and yet opened the door wide for him. 

 

“Thanks,” Ray quietly muttered.

 

“What do you want, Ray?” Ava asked.

 

Ray extended his arms, making Ava hold the basket. “I just wanted to apologize, for um- everything we’ve caused, really, so this is an apology basket,” he said.

 

Ava peered in the basket, here were cupcakes and cookies, neatly wrapped. Ava had an overwhelming urge to smile, this was incredibly sweet. Instead, she cleared her throat and looked at Ray. “Wow- um, thank you,” she said.

 

Ray smiled, “You don’t need to, it’s an apology basket.”

 

Ava smiled a little. “You have absolutely no reason to apologize,” she said. "And no one does. 

 

“It’s from everyone,” he said, a knowing glint in his eyes. Ava nodded knowingly, “Right, she didn’t want to come and she sent you, huh?” Ava huffed. Of course, _of-fucking-course._ “She has no reason to apologize now, I did say we can leave the past behind us,” Ava muttered. It doesn’t mean she’ll talk to Sara the way she wanted her to, of course, but it was something.

 

Ray looked alarmed. “Oh, no, no, no, of course, she didn’t- she doesn’t even know- at all, I promise. It’s just, I’ve been on your side of the table, quite a few times, actually. I know how you feel, and I- that’s the worst thing to feel, really, so, um-”

 

Ava sighed, “I’m sorry you went through that, but I’m fine, really,” she said.

 

Except after what had transpired, the low ache in her chest had stayed, making a home in the lowest cavity of her ribcage. It was true, she hardly had a social life here and it hurt when the beginning of one was a fabrication. (And also when she got a mere crush on someone just by talking to them for a fraction of an hour- a fact she won’t admit until it’s just the both of them, on the roof watching the stars with hands held. Sara would lean in, then, telling her that she didn’t mean any of it, and she was surprised her crush wasn’t obvious to Ava.)

 

“I also wanted to tell you that you have a friend here, we’re neighbours, after all,” Ray said, with a soft smile on his face.

 

Ava laughed, “You need something from me too?”

 

Ray looked alarmed his hands nervously running through his hair, “Oh no- no that’s not what I meant, I- just, I do want to be your friend- I mean it- no conditions-”

 

Ray looked adorable, all red cheeks and messed up hair. “Ray, I was joking, don’t worry,” Ava slowly chuckled.

 

Ray looked like he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Yeah, you got me,” he said, with his hand on his chest.

 

From the door, a voice said, “Ava, ready to leave?”

 

Ava visibly brightened, “Rose!” she exclaimed, “Yes, I am.”

 

Rose was decked up and gorgeous, looking like she was straight out of a dream pop music video, smiling brightly at the both of them.

 

Ray curiously looked at Rose, and then back at Ava, and said, “I’ll see you later, then.”

 

Ava smiled a little. “Yeah, you will, goodbye,” she said.

 

Ray left as Rose came in. “Who was that?” she almost whistled, looking as he walked away.

 

“He’s one of my many, _many_ neighbours,” Ava said, grabbing her purse and walking out of the door, and while she was locking the door, a noise distracted her to look at her right.

 

“You sound exasperated,” Rose said, keeping her hand on her back.

 

Her eyes met Sara’s who was curiously looking at them.

 

Sara looked beautiful, her hair was in a messy bun, and Ava felt her breath catch in her throat. She felt the anger she had towards her slowly dissipate but she couldn’t let herself go down that route, again. Instead, she intently looked at her icy blues, how enticing she would’ve looked if Ava didn’t feel this burning in her chest everytime she gazed at her freckled, gorgeous face. The burning was just unadulterated anger and raw indifference. That was it. There was nothing else she felt for  Sara anyway. Nothing, especially not now when she looked like  _that._

 

“Oh trust me, I am,” Ava breathlessly said, snapping out of it, her voice contradictory to what she had been feeling- unadulterated anger and raw indifference. 

 

Ava tucked her hair behind her ear, breaking eye contact with Sara and Rose interlocked their arms together.

 

“Ava,” Sara said, crossing her arms and leaning against her door frame. Her voice was hoarse and Ava pretended that she didn't feel warm when Sara said her name. 

 

“Sara,” Ava said, swiftly moving along with Rose. She seemed confused at the curt exchange, and when Sara was out of earshot, she leaned in and asked, “You guys have like..crazy sexual tension.”

 

Ava rolled her eyes hard enough to not let the blush rise up her cheeks.

 

“Yeah, it’s not sexual tension. It’s just tension,” she said, hoping desperately for Rose to not stretch the topic any further than it had been stretched.

 

“Right,” Rose said, rolling her eyes too. “You need to tell me everything that happened, I hope you know that.”

 

“Uh-no,” Ava said, “please don’t stretch it any further”

 

Knowing Rose, however, “And then you’ll say that the eye fucking you both did was actually you guys preparing for combat against each other.”

 

“In another life, it could be, Rose. It really could,” Ava said seriously as they reached Rose’s car.

 

They both got in and Rose turned to smirk at Ava. “Right before you pin her down and-”

 

Mortified, Ava screamed, “Rose!”

 

Rose merely chuckled and began driving. “Ava, come on. I mean my pansexual ass could not handle being around Sara and that dude who left your apartment- and I am engaged to the love of my life! Before whatever it is that happened, I know you thought about her in combat but in a very not-PG-13 way,” she said.

 

“Rose,” Ava sighed, “I- she didn’t make a really good impression the day she moved in and then pretended to be my friend and brought me coffee to get a role in the play.”

 

Rose’s eyes widened. “What the fuck? This is- wow, oh Ava,” she said, looking straight ahead but resting one arm on Ava’s shoulders. "I will fight her, Ava. Next time I see her, how dare she-"

 

“She has since then apologized for that,” Ava cut her off, sighing and looking at the blur of buildings that they drove past.

 

“What’s the matter then?” Rose questioned.

 

“I don’t care much about that incident but I really don’t want to restart the whole ‘meeting her’ process. I don’t even think she’s worth it. Besides, this is my last year here- in this town and hopefully this country, so it won’t really matter in a few months, you see?”

 

“Why do you think she isn’t worth it?” Rose asked.

 

Ava opened her mouth but no answer came out. A huge, rational part of her claimed that Sara wasn’t worth it, that all the conversation that they’d had except for perhaps two had resulted in either arguments or shrugs (from her side and a rain of flat, half-hearted apologies from Sara's). But there was that miniscule, microscopic part of her whose voice was honestly larger than the other that screamed that maybe, just maybe Sara was, in fact, worth it- which was extremely strange. She should be feeling unadulterated anger and raw indifference. 

 

Ava shrugged as an answer and pursed her lips and looked at Rose, her hair flying with the wind and the sun shining on her as if illuminating her beyond the realm of reality. She did look utterly, hopelessly, beautiful. If she was bolder and this was two years ago, she’d have leaned in. But she wasn’t, and it was too late. And she was happy that the remainder of her feelings disappeared every day.  

 

“What?” Rose asked, parking the car, breaking Ava’s train of thoughts.

 

“Nothing,” Ava answered, opening her door and getting out. “Absolutely nothing.”

 

In about five minutes they found Kala, Rose’s fiance and Alex, their friend huddled in a corner, giggling at their menu.

 

“What are you losers giggling about?” Rose asked, making the both of them jump.

 

“Oh god, Rose!” Kala exclaimed, holding her chest, “thank your lucky stars I love you or I would’ve kicked your ass,” she said, going in for a kiss.

 

“Ava, darling,” Alex said, their purple hair falling into their eyes as they stood up to hug her. “How are you?”

 

Ava breathed in, wrapping her arms around them, “I’ve been good. I’ve been so good.”

 

Her shoulders slumped around them and tightened when she heard Rose say, “Of course she’s good, Alex, she has a hot new neighbour who is, totally into her.”

 

Ava glared at Rose, pulling away from Alex and sitting opposite to them. “Shut your hole, Rose.”

 

“Ava was eye fucking her today and she isn’t ready to admit it,” Rose smirked, ignoring Ava’s strengthening glare.

 

Ava groaned. “Why must you do this every time I have to work with an attractive woman?”

 

“Because you never, ever pick up on cues and she’s gonna move on too,” Rose said, sipping the cocktail Kala had already ordered.

 

Too? “What is that supposed to mean?” Ava cried.

 

Rose merely shrugged her shoulders, sinking into Kala’s arms. 

 

“Honey, fuck the neighbour I want to hear about the rewrite of the play you’re planning on doing,” Alex said, coming to Ava’s rescue.

 

Ava shot a grateful look to them and began talking about her play. And Sara. Always Sara for some reason.

 

By the time Ava was finished, they were a little tipsy on mimosas, and all done with the food.

 

“Hold, hold, hold,” Kala chuckled, wiping a little tear gathered on the corner of her eye. “You’re going to have to-”

 

“Yup,” Ava said, sipping her mimosa rather fast.

 

“-with her?” Kala finished, setting into another fit of giggles.

 

“YUP!” Ava exclaimed. 

 

“That’s fucking intense,” Alex sniggered, “I did not expect that to happen but oh well,” they commented. "Can't believe Ms. Norris fucked you over like that, though."

 

“Oh well indeed,” Rose said, sipping her cocktail with ease, who then signalled for the bill. "Do you know why she said no for the lesbian rendition?"

 

"Because our trustees are homophobic and we can't render them speechless." 

 

"Makes sense," Kala said. "We once had a homophobic chief guest trying to give us a speech on the paper I presented about queer psychology. Suffice to say, he couldn't speak more than ten words." 

 

"I want to work on this device that exterminates all the bigots in the world, but it's usually the bigots that have the money and well, they don't want to fund that," Alex said, smiling softly. They all laughed and after they paid the bills, Ava said, “Before we leave, I just want to thank you guys,” tucking her hair behind her ear.

 

Alex looked at her in confusion. “Ava?”

 

“I am really, really grateful to all three of you for bearing with me, sometimes I feel like-” the lump in Ava’s throat was getting bigger. “-I don’t have a lot of friends and it’s impossible that you guys even like me and just-I don’t deserve it.”

 

The concerned looks passed between the three of them didn’t go unnoticed by Ava.

 

“What triggered this?” Alex finally asked.

 

“Nothing at all, I am just grateful for you all,” she said, dabbing the corner of her eye with the joint of her thumb. "I shouldn't miss an opportunity to say a thing like that."

 

“You shouldn't, but hon, we know that. Did someone say something?” Kala asked.

 

 _Yes._ “No, not at all,” Ava insisted. 

 

“Ava we’ve been told by you to tell you when we think-”

 

“I am not having another depressive episode!” she snapped. “God, you guys, I am just-” she took a deep breath when she saw how all three of them had leaned back, concern clear in their eyes. 

 

“I’m sorry, it’s just been overwhelming this past couple of weeks, that’s it,” she muttered at last.

 

“Okay, okay,” Rose said, putting her hand on Ava’s. “As long as you know you’re alright.”

 

“I am,” Ava said, taking a deep breath which did nothing to stop the sinking feeling in her chest. She ruined the whole mood, didn't she?  _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ She shouldn't have said anything. 

 

They all left the restaurant in complete silence, their tipsy-ness wore down to nothing and with Ava cursing herself internally. 

 

“My Uber is two minutes away,” she said, looking at her phone.

 

They were all squinting in the harsh sunlight. One by one, everyone hugged Ava, the sinking feeling in her chest slowly reducing.

 

“Love you, girl. Keep in touch, yeah?” Alex asked, hopping into their Lyft. Ava muttered a quick something along the same lines and suddenly felt unbelievably exhausted. She could see her Uber in the distance.

 

“Ava, take care, will you?” Kala asked, hugging her too. “You too, Kala.”

 

“Text me when you reach home,” Rose said, tugging at Kala’s arm, as Ava climbed in the backseat. 

 

***

As soon as Ava reached her apartment floor, she groaned out loud.

 

“Ah, good seeing you too, neighbour,” Sara said, standing up from the stairs.

 

“Have your roommates finally realised that you’re pretty shit and have thus thrown you out?”

 

“What, why?” Sara asked, confused.

 

“Because you’re always outside your apartment. Don’t you know what apartments are for?” Ava asked, unlocking her door in the process.

 

She didn’t need to turn to see Sara rolling her eyes. “Maybe I was waiting for you.”

 

“Were you?” Ava asked, looking behind.

 

Sara shrugged, her hair naturally falling over her shoulders. Something primal tugged inside Ava which she shook off. This day was complicated enough and feelings were hard. She couldn't possibly ruin something else. 

 

“What do you want, Lance?” Ava asked at last.

 

“I love the way you say my name. Lance,” Sara said, enunciating her last name. “Makes me feel like you have this power over me. I love it,” she said, coming in closer to Ava with every word.

 

Ava got a whiff of the scent and immediately rolled her eyes. “You’re high,” she stated, crossing her arms over her chest.

 

“You gonna rat me out to the police again?” Sara asked, only an inch of space between them as Ava uncrossed her arms.

 

Ava gulped, her hands getting clammier every second and her heart in her throat. Sara was so close. And so pretty. She could see her pupils widen dramatically. 

 

“What do you want, Lance?” Ava asked, shaking just a little.

 

Sara’s eyes were hooded, and Ava’s head was spinning, just a little. It was as if she was tipsy on those mimosas again, and as if she’d twirled around in circles until the world around her was spinning. Unadulterated anger and raw indifference were melting away, slipping in a drain and her head felt like it was in the clouds. She didn't even remember why she was supposed to feel unadulterated anger and raw indifference for Sara.

 

“I really, really, really,” Sara said, getting closer to Ava every moment. “-really, want you-,” she said, coming closer to Ava’s ears, her breath sending shivers down Ava’s spine. Her breath hitched in her throat and the urge to put her arms around Sara’s waist and turning her around was urgent but Ava kept them glued to her sides. “-to accept my apology,” Sara finished with a husky whisper.

 

Ava breathed out, pushing Sara away and snapping out of the reverie that Sara had her in.

 

“I have,” she croaked, her voice barely in a whisper.

 

“Then why don’t we hang out as friends?” Sara asked, innocently, her eyes immediately turning doe-like.

 

 _Friends._ Of course, Ava’s mind supplied. Sara is probably straight. Of course, she wanted to hang out as friends and nothing more. The course of next few months, however, would prove that statement wrong, but for now, Ava was sure that this was the most prominent sign out there asking her to stay the hell away from Sara Lance.

 

“Because,” Ava said more confidently than before, “I am not here to make new friends. I don’t want to be in this country next year and so, there’s no point in making new friends”

 

Sara furrowed her eyebrows. “But-”

 

“I am exhausted, Sara. We’ll meet tomorrow for practice, yeah?” Ava said, not even waiting for Sara’s reply before she closed the door on Sara’s bewildered face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im really not satisfied with this chapter but if i make any more changes than i have, i will end up not posting it- ever. thank you so much for commenting and kudos-ing and reading! you're all wonderful <33

Ava looked hot. 

 

Sara could admit that in her mind without any judgement from the others. She looked really, really good. Her hair was open and while tight bun Ava was hot for entirely different reasons, open hair Ava looked younger, carefree, just how a normal 22 year old should look. 

 

She doesn’t remember seeing Ava like this and then realised that she absolutely wouldn’t mind seeing her like this forever. Or just her- forever. Not that she’d ever admit that out loud. (Not yet, anyway.)

 

But then she noticed the other girl’s hand on Ava’s back as they made eye contact. Sara felt this electricity flow through her veins by just at how intently Ava had been looking at her. Sara could feel it surging through her veins and she wasn’t quite sure if that electricity was the usual exasperation that she felt when she saw her.

 

Pluckily, she called out, “Ava.” 

 

“Sara” she flatly replied, swiftly walking past her, her hands intertwined with the other girl’s. 

 

She was hit with a pang of irritation in the depths of her stomach, and a little introspection would reveal just why she was feeling that but she wasn’t ready to get her mind fucked this early in the day. She pinned down that feeling as “Saw Ava again, felt the same irritation”.

 

“Is she going on a date?” she asked Ray as soon as she closed the door. 

 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, flicking through the TV channels. 

 

“You sure you don’t? Aren’t y’all like best friends now?” she asked, sitting beside him on the couch. 

 

“We just talked today, Sara. She’s good, and funny too. Don’t know why you hated her so much,” Ray muttered, not even looking at Sara.

 

“She must’ve mentioned something, right?” Sara persisted. 

 

Ray finally looked at her with a knowing gaze. “I know her name’s Rose, that’s all.” 

 

Sara hummed. “Was she like, civil and everything?” 

 

Ray rolled his eyes.”Sara, she was really sweet and accepted my apology basket without any fuss which is what I expected given the way you talked about her.” 

 

“Well don’t get your hopes too high, alright? She’s a lesbian,” Sara grumbled. 

 

“I am not getting my hopes too high, Sara. Are you though?” Ray asked, turning his attention back to the TV. 

 

Sara scoffed, a thin sheet of pink lining her cheeks. “Why would I be getting my hopes too high?” 

 

Ray let out a long breath and patiently turned towards her, again. “Sara. The way you talked to her and about her, whatever she thinks you think of her, that’s not going to go out of her head that easily. It will be difficult to build the rapport you think you’d have had had it not been for that day. Take my word on this.” 

 

Sara folded her legs on the couch, her eyes darting across the room. “I didn’t mean any of it.” 

 

Ray kept his hand on Sara’s folded ones. “I know you didn’t, Sara. And she’s heard you say you didn’t. For her to believe that- that is going to be hard.” 

 

Sara looked ahead, a frown contouring her face and nodded. “You’re right.” 

 

“I always am, Sara. I always am,” he smirked. 

 

Sara rolled her eyes and then said, “Rose,” testing her name out on her tongue. “Rose and Ava, they don’t sound good together,” she muttered, disapprovingly and looked straight at the TV. 

 

“I think Ava and Rose sound good together,” Ray teasingly said, “they did look pretty good together too.” 

 

Sara scoffed. “Why? Because Ava’s tall and a blonde and Rose is short and a brunette?”

 

“No, but because it really seemed that they had this chemistry together,” Ray smirked. 

 

Sara rolled her eyes.”I couldn’t see it, like at all, but you know, fuck off.”

 

Ray nudged his shoulders with Sara’s. “It’s okay to admit you like her, you know?” 

 

Sara scoffed louder this time. “I don’t.” And besides, what good would it do? Admitting that she liked a beautiful, dynamic woman when there was absolutely no chance in hell. Not that she liked her. She didn’t like her but if, hypothetically she did, admitting would do no good. 

 

“You certainly do care about her more than you let the others believe,” Ray commented. 

 

Sara pursed her lips. She possibly couldn’t defend something she knew in her heart. 

 

“And the only reason you are questioning me is because you know I won't tell the others anything,” he continued.

 

"You won't, would you?" Sara questioned. 

 

"I do not have a death wish, Sara." 

 

Sara grinned, taking the remote away from Ray.

 

“You’re right, by the way,” Sara said, at last.

 

“About what?” Ray asked.

 

Sara breathed out through her mouth. “Just know you’re right,” she said at last. There were some things even she wasn’t prepared to answer. 

 

***

 

Maybe if she had a little more self-control and a little less anxiety, she wouldn’t have taken the joint from Amaya but that wasn’t the case at all. She was outside and if anyone asked, she was absolutely not waiting for Ava to come back so she could talk to her. If someone didn’t ask, however, that’s exactly why she was here. 

 

Lowered inhibitions made her stupid. But also braver than she was. Stupid and brave was a deadly combination and she did not mind killing today. She had to reduce this weight on her chest everytime she thought of Ava (which was a lot). So she made herself comfortable on the stairs, waiting for Ava to come. 

("It is not creepy," she'd argued. 

 

"It is, just a little," Zari had commented, taking a long drag. 

 

"You can ring her doorbell when you're not high and like a normal human being."

 

"Fight me," Sara had said.)

 

She heard footsteps and their exchange had gone just how it had all the other times, and she wanted to change that this time.

 

So, she had Ava cornered, her breath hitching everytime Sara moved a little closer to her. Stupid and brave was a deadly combination and she did not mind dying today. 

 

She was so close. So fucking close to Ava and her lip gloss coated lips and the fruity smell of her perfume. She was so fucking close. And then she said, “I really, really, really want you,” and then she moved her lips to her ears, whispering “to accept my apology.” 

 

The urge to end her sentence at ‘you’ was surreal. She wouldn't be lying then, not to herself, not to Ava, not to anyone who witnessed the stomach swooping cosmic kiss they would have had. But she just had to say the other four words and Ava pushed her off, and Sara stumbled on her feet. Her heart probably tore a little and she stared in disbelief at Ava. 

 

Her voice broke and suddenly she didn’t even remember why she didn’t just have the stomach swooping, cosmic kiss. 

 

“Because,” Ava said more confidently than before, “I am not here to make new friends. I don’t want to be in this country next year there’s no point in making new friends” 

 

Sara furrowed her eyebrows. “But-”

 

“I am exhausted, Sara. We’ll meet tomorrow for practice, yeah?” Ava said, not even waiting for Sara’s reply before she closed the door on Sara’s bewildered face. 

 

“What the fuck,” she whispered incredulously. What had just happened? She ran her fingers through her hair. 

 

She rang the doorbell and was not surprised when Ava didn’t open it. 

 

“Why wouldn’t you want to make friends if you’re moving to another country?” 

 

No reply. Sara shook her head. She was going to get her answer. 

 

“That is literally the stupidest thing I’ve heard all week. We don’t live in the nineteenth century, Ava. I don’t know if you know this but we can communicate without being physically present,” Sara said. “It is called technology. I can give you a full-fledged tutorial of Skype, Ava. Or even Facetime or even Whatsapp, now. Facebook too has that option. There are tons of different social media sites with the video calling feature.” 

 

There was no reply, again. She felt like the living embodiment of ‘disappointed but not surprised.’

 

"Well I have a friend in Japan and we talk every day. Our friendship has only strengthened after that. I have no idea why you think it's not worth making friends only because you're moving away."

 

She could hear some shuffling from the other side of the door. 

 

“I cannot believe this. If you’re thinking ‘Oh she’ll tire off and leave real soon’, I’ll just have to prove you otherwise. I do not give up that easy.” 

 

“You’re stubborn then?” a voice came from the other side of the door. 

 

Sara grinned. “As stubborn as they come, baby.” 

 

Ava opened the door finally, her face a lot smaller and exhausted than before. 

 

“Sara, please go home, I really don’t want to justify my actions to you of all people.” 

 

“Let me guess,” Sara defiantly said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Commitment issues or trust issues or both breeding together. Someone close to you left you in the dark without any explanation and now you can’t trust anyone except yourself. Not even your girlfriend, probably.” 

 

Anger flashed through Ava’s eyes. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said. “And I don’t have a  _ girlfriend.”  _

 

Sara shook her head, not expressing how ecstatic she felt when Ava said she didn’t have a girlfriend. “I think I actually do this time because I’ve touched a nerve, haven’t I?” 

 

“Sara, for fuck’s sake,” Ava said, looking down, breathing heavily. “Why are you making this harder than it is?” 

 

“I am not, Ava. You need to get in touch with your feelings and that bullshit.” 

 

“You sound like my therapist.” 

 

“Plot twist: I am your therapist,” Sara grinned and there was not even a smile on Ava’s face. She slid down on the floor, sitting against the probably mouldy wall of the building, patting the place beside her.

 

Ava hesitantly sat beside her and suddenly Sara’s senses were flooded with Ava. She took a deep breath but that just worsened it. 

 

“All I’m saying is, I’ve been there, and I think I’m still there, but I’m learning every day, okay. Opening up to new people, good people, has been the best decision of my life,” Sara softly said, looking at her from the corner of her eye. 

 

Ava finally met her eyes, tears coating her eyes. “Thing is, Sara, I did. I did talk to you and you know how that ended.” 

 

Sara slumped her shoulders, the passage feeling a lot colder than it had a minute ago. “I am sorry, Ava. I truly am. I did nothing to deny what they said and I-I should’ve because I enjoyed talking to you that say even though it was just for thirty minutes. I am sorry I said some horrible things to you after.”

 

Ava took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. Besides, why do you even care?” 

 

Sara’s head hurt a little.”I don’t know, but I wanted you to know that.” 

 

“Well, thank you,” Ava said sincerely. 

 

Sara smiled a little. “This is coming from experience, Ava. You have to open yourself up to other people. I am sure your girlfriend-”

 

“Wait, wait, wait, what girlfriend are you talking about?” Ava asked, confused. 

 

Sara pretended that she was embarrassed by what she’d said while she was strangely happy at that moment. “The woman you were with, in the morning, I just assumed-”

 

A thin veil of pink coated Ava’s cheeks. “Oh no, no, that’s um- that’s my best friend, Rose.” 

 

“Right,” Sara said, raising both her eyebrows. She was going to throw something if it was the case of unrequited love. The ecstasy wore off quickly. “That was believable.”

 

“Well, it is true so I don’t know why you’re interpreting it otherwise,” Ava clarified, clearing her throat- looking at anywhere but Sara. 

 

“Because you mirrored the expressions I had when my sister had asked who my ex-girlfriend was,” Sara said, smirking a little.

 

Suddenly, Ava’s whole body language changed. She leaned a little forward, her face peaking with interest.

 

“You’re not straight?” she asked her voice, a little deep. Her voice sending chills down Sara’s spine.

 

“Good god no,” Sara asked, a little horrified, chuckling a little. 

 

Ava’s breathing was heavy, just a little. “Oh, well, that’s good,” she said, at last, her eyebrows furrowing as if she were in deep thought. 

 

“It is,” Sara said, a little confused at Ava’s reaction. 

 

“Okay then!” Ava exclaimed, “I’m going to go sleep, bye!” she said, standing up and running to close the door behind her, on a bewildered Sara’s face- again. 


	7. Chapter 7

“Well, _someone_ has to call the lead fucking actor of the play,” Ava sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Ava’s excitement about the play was decreasing with every passing second. This is not how she had imagined the first day to go. She had a well thought out timetable, with what everyone was supposed to do. She had a timetable till the start of next month. This mishap would mean she’ll have to revise the whole thing all over again. The dim lighting of the auditorium made her look even fiercer, her voice ringing out throughout the place. Blank looks stared back at her, a little disconcerted with their director screaming on top of her lungs at the crack of dawn. Everyone in front of her then started murmuring. Everyone but Sara, that was. Her eyes caught hers and her resolve seemed to soften a bit.

 

She certainly had not expected to be seen as the angry woman by Sara, yet again. She was tired of being seen as that. Sara was biting her lip, and soon broke eye contact with her, clearly thinking about something. A moment later, she stepped forward.

 

“I do have his other number,” she said softly. Ava’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh,” is all she could say, a million questions running through her head. How does she know Oliver? Didn’t she just move here? How does she already have so many friends?

 

Murmurs rang out between all the actors. “Quiet now,” Gary said from beside Ava and her chain of thought broke. With the rate Gary was helping her; Ava had to buy him a cupcake for everything he had been doing for her lately which was mostly being there when she felt anger tingle her hair roots.

 

“Can you call him?” Ava asked, biting her lip, her fists clenched. She had never been gladder to not be a part of this experience after this year.

 

Sara nodded, dialling a number on her phone and putting it to her ear.

 

Gary eased beside Ava, “You still crushing on her?”

 

Ava shot Gary a look. “Crushing? How absurd is that? Who even uses the word _crushing_ anymore?” she asked. Maybe she wouldn’t buy him the cupcake after all.

 

“You didn’t deny it,” Gary said smiling a little at her. Gary, who is usually deeply shaken by the current look and silence for an answer Ava was giving him, remained unperturbed. “What? I am just looking out for my friend.”

 

“We’re friends, Gary?” Ava asked, folding her arms across her chest. They may have been friends once upon a time, a time that seemed so far away.

 

Gary, a little offended slid his spectacles back up his nose. “I am gravely offended, Ava. Of course, we are.”

 

Ava shrugged, “I don't have a crush on her.” _I actually kind of fancy her. Quite a lot, actually. I have never quite immediately fancied someone as strongly as I have fancied her. I fancy her so much that she’s making me use the word fancy. All I think of doing when I am not thinking about the play is running my fingers through her hair and kissing her,_ her mind provided. Her mind was a stubborn asshole and never knows when to shut up.

 

Gary chuckled, “I believe those were the exact same words you said when you first met Rose. Look where it got you.”

 

A shot of anger surged through Ava, “What has gotten into you? How did Rose come into the picture?”

 

“A kind gentleman told me I should be more daring. I should account for what I feel. I care for you, Ava. We’ve worked together for four years, been friends even longer than that. I am simply looking out for you.”

 

“Is this gentleman your therapist?”

 

Gary rolled his eyes. “Don’t change the topic, Ava. All I’m saying is, you should account for what you feel too,” Gary said at last.

 

“I am accounting for what I feel. I am angry right now. The lead of our fucking play has disappeared without prior notice. I have to schedule everything out yet again. We should’ve been an hour into practice. I am angry at you right now- because instead of helping me with all this shit you’re bringing up my past out of the fucking blue and trying to ruin my present,” Ava said. She could feel a headache coming as it does whenever things get a little too intense.

 

Gary’s sigh rang out in the auditorium. Or at least it felt like. Thing is, Ava remembered them being friends. It seemed forever ago when they’d just been introduced to the world of theatre and time, time killed their friendship. Time made it something more- professional. Something Ava knew she struggled with was multiple relationships. She couldn’t have someone be her friend and subordinate at the same time-so she pretended the friend part didn’t exist. She always ends up pretending that the friend part doesn’t exist. Friendship or any relationship that isn’t bound by a code of ethics is something she doesn’t feel control in. She prefers professional relationships because they have a definite start and an end. Friendships, however, they get messy. There is a slow, gradual start to it. But she loses control in the middle, too warped by her feelings, and then the end is messy. Abandonment issues do that to you, she supposes.

 

“I am tired of being treated as a subordinate. We’re friends. Or at least we were before you took the role of the director way too seriously and our friendship also turned into some sort of power play-”

 

“I am sorry to disturb you guys, I just talked to Oliver,” Sara said, tucking her hair behind her ear. Maybe she’ll buy Sara a cupcake. She saved her from this painful conversation. She hates being called out like this.

 

Ava turned towards her, feeling more grateful than she should’ve been feeling. “What did he say?”

 

“That he’ll be here in 30 minutes,” Sara regretfully mentioned.

 

Ava humorlessly chuckled. “Of course. We must lay out the carpet for the prince. Call the production team, ask them to welcome him with zest,” Ava said, flailing her arms around. “You guys, take a break till the time he comes. Do whatever the fuck you want, just don’t disappear.”

 

The crowd dispersed, and Ava took her writing pad, cancelling out the ‘Readout Act 1 Scene 1,  2, and 3’ bullet point she’d written.

 

Sara sat on one of the wooden props, “Hey, you okay?”

 

A laugh threatened to escape Ava’s lips. “Nope, I won’t be until this play is done. Especially when Oliver is playing the lead, yet again.”

 

“But it is 4 months from now,” Sara said, confusion lacing.

 

“Yep!” Ava said, frantically trying to clear out the cleared out space.

 

Gary cleared his throat. “Ava, we’ll talk later. Sara, good to see you,” he said and walked away.

 

Sara quizzically looked at Gary’s retreating back. “The conversation you had with him sounded pretty intense,” she said.

 

Ava tsk-d, looking in the same direction, watching as Gary talked to a cast member who always wore a trench coat. “It was strange. I’ve never actually heard him talk to me that way.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sara asked.

 

Ava pinched the bridge of her nose, looking expectedly at Sara. “Why would I talk about it with you, Sara?” _especially when it is you we were talking about?_

 

A glimpse of hurt passed through Sara’s face, replaced with something more neutral. “Because I am trying to be your friend.”

 

Ava raised one eyebrow. “Are you now?”

 

Sara seemed exasperated. “Look, I fucked up. But I am trying here. I would appreciate a little more reciprocation.” Maybe the cupcake was off the table. Ava really was craving cupcakes.

 

“Mhm,” Ava said, “Why do you even want to be my friend? Is it because I have no friends?”

 

Sara was taken aback. “Jeez, I thought we cleared this out last night. You know, right before you closed the door on my face. AGAIN!”

 

Ava rolled her eyes, trying to cover up the fact that the fact that Sara wasn’t straight brought immense joy. “I closed the door to your face because- well, I assumed you were a homophobe first and now you’re not straight so yay!” she said in a way that seemed sarcastic.

 

Sara narrowed her eyes, clearly not believing anything Ava said. “Right, of course. Anyway, I am not trying to be your friend because I think you have no friends. I didn’t mean that you know.”

 

Ava glanced at Sara, defeated and a little happy. “I know that,” she said, turning her head toward Gary and Mr. Trench Coat again. She really had to learn the names. “Who is that man talking to Gary?” she asked Sara.

 

Mr. Trench Coat had his hand on Gary’s arm, leaning against a table as Gary smiled bashfully.

 

“Oh, him? That’s John. John Constantine. A philosophy student. He’s always on about how doomed he is. I have never actually seen him smile like that, though.”

 

“How do you know him?” Ava asked, leaning against the wall.

 

Sara crossed her arms against her chest. “Well, knowing is a large term. We only met once, at a party. We kinda slept together once, uh the night of that party? When you called the cops?”

 

It was Ava’s turn to look bashful now. “I only called the cops because I had class the next day and you’ve gotta admit, Sara, it was pretty bad. Like if our neighbours knew it was I who actually called the cops, I am sure they’d send me sweets.”

 

Sara nudged her elbow against Ava’s and said in a teasing tone, “Yeah, it totally wasn’t to throw us out the same day we moved in, right?”

 

Ava looked at Sara, her apple cheeks looking rosy in the fluorescent lights of the backstage. Her eyes were crinkling and her chin dimple seemed even more pronounced. “Obviously not. That would be quite rude of me, wouldn’t it?”

 

“Oh, Ava,” Sara said shaking her head, her mouth contorted in the same smile she always had. “The rudest.”

 

“And now that I kind of have an idea of how this place is in general, I know what you mean. It was really loud,” Sara said, looking away, her eyes a little distant.

 

“How is this place?” Ava asked, looking at her, trying not to make it obvious how much she fancies her.

 

“Well, for starters, it is so damn quiet here. Like how do you survive here? Every day the silence deafens me. And I am not trying to be dramatic. Where I lived, everyone had parties every day, regardless of it being a weekday. It was chaotic and happening and here it is so peaceful.”

 

Ava laughed. “This is honestly the first time I’ve heard someone complain about peace.”

 

Sara chuckled too. “Yeah, well, it is unsettling, that’s all.”

 

“Which is kind of why I like it here? My life has been a chaos from the start and it fucked with me. So, quiet places are kind of what I enjoy.”

 

Sara looked at her, squinted her eyes a little while smiling at her. “You know, Ava, I don’t even know you that well and yet I know that you seem like the kind of person who’d choose serenity over chaos, all the time.”

 

“And you’d choose chaos over serenity?” Ava asked.

 

Sara shrugged. “Kind of distracts me from the chaos I live with.”

 

“Why’d you come here then?” Ava asked.

 

Sara’s eyes were sad again, and Ava knew in her bones that she never, ever wanted Sara to have that look on her face ever again. She looked down and then back at Ava. Ava could see the smudged makeup around her eyes, the crinkles around her eyes that weren’t currently present. Sara bit her lip like she was debating something. She lightly toyed with the chain around her neck.

 

“I couldn’t live there after what happened,” she said at last.

 

Ava nodded, not wanting to pry any more than she should. “I’m sorry I made you think about that.”

 

Sara pursed her lips and smiled. “Don’t apologize for this, it’s quite alright.”

 

Ava smiled back at her. Maybe the cupcake was back on the table. “Hey,” Ava said, “do you want to go have cupcakes after this rehearsal is over? After Oliver comes, we’re only going to have an hour to practice and I have been craving cupcakes, literally deciding whom to buy one here.”

 

“Aww,” Sara said, pouting, “I’d love to! There’s that cute cupcake place that just opened near our building, right? Let’s go there.”

 

“Okay,” Ava said, smiling more than she usually does.

 

“Okay,” Sara said, reciprocating the smile and leaning back with Ava so that their sides touched. Ava’s entire left side felt warm and she felt like leaning into her and laying her head on her shoulder. Maybe one day, she will. (And one day, not far from today, she does.)

 

“I am so sorry I am late, fellas! I bought everyone doughnuts, just in case!” said a voice from the entrance of the auditorium.

 

Ava looked at him, red fury written all over her face. “Just in case what, Oliver? Just in case I lose my mind for perfectly good reasons?”

 

Oliver walked up to her, his face in a tight smile. “Just in case people are mad, that’s all.”

 

“This kind of behaviour won’t be tolerated, Oliver,” Ava said walking closer to him. Up close, Oliver looked a little more tired and irritated than he usually did. But he was still the gruff man Ava knew, wreaking havoc wherever her theatre concerned. She met his eyes again.

 

“What will you do, Ava? Throw me off the play?” Oliver chuckled. “My dear mother will make sure that doesn’t happen. She loves making your life a living hell.”

 

Ava gritted her teeth. “Oliver, be on time tomorrow. I had in mind team building exercises and a reading of Act 1Scene 1, 2, and 3. But we can only do half of the team building exercises now,” Ava said, ending the conversation and then walked away to the centre of the stage.

 

“Everyone, gather around, please?” Ava said as Gary stood beside her. “My name is Ava Sharpe and this Gary Green and we are going to be directing the play you all will be performing in a few months,” she said as the actors all stood in front of her. “The technical team is also present here; they’ll be handling everything backstage,” she said, pointing at the team that was scattered amongst the actors.

 

“You are all a team from today. Each and every one of you plays a critical role. Your contribution to the team you are going to be making today is what will matter in four months. Nothing more than that and that is for sure. Many of the actors this year were also there last year and the technical team is the same, so you all know how this goes. But for the new ones, we have team building exercises that we do for some time before we get to rehearse. You need to know each other to trust each other,” she said.

 

“Let’s all introduce ourselves then? I’ll start first. I am Gary Green and anyone can make me do anything by offering me some doughnuts that I spot right there,” Gary grinned and pointed at the table where Oliver kept the doughnuts and where the scripts were kept.

 

A few people chuckled and then slowly everyone started introducing themselves. Ava, the supposed team leader felt her gaze drifting to Sara every time someone else talked. However, whenever she looked at Sara, she was already looking at Ava. Ava tried not to think over that a lot but she did anyway.

 

Gary nudged her. “Well, they all introduced themselves. Now what?” he asked.

 

Ava widened her eyes, shaking herself out of the reverie she somehow found herself in today. “Right, huh sorry,” she chuckled nervously. “Now, we do the infamous trust fall exercise.” This elicited a lot of groans from the crowd. Ava chuckled.

 

“Yeah, no one likes it but it is extremely necessary. I promise that much,” Ava said, “come on, everyone, make pairs and do it at least five times with different partners. But today, since we don’t have much time,” she said, pointedly looking at Oliver, “you all have to do it eight times. This is something we do every day until you’ve done it with everyone in your team twice. Everyone who falls and has been fallen on eight times will come and stand here,” she said, pointing at the corner of the stage where there was a table, stacked with the script of the play. “Collect your script once you’re done with it.”

 

Everyone spread out, some people climbing off the stage and doing the exercise right in between the seats and wherever they could find space. Ava, however, was staring. Sara reached out to Oliver first who was standing right beside her. Oliver caught her with ease, they laughed and then Sara caught Oliver with ease as well. Ava definitely did not notice her muscles when Oliver fell into her arms.

 

Some people fell and giggled, some fell and scowled. Nothing major happened aside from the commotion. She walked over to where Gary was showing two people how to fall.

 

“You just fall the way you’d fall on your bed after a long day,” she heard him saying. The actors, that she recalled as Mel and Alex nodded.

 

They tried it again and caught each other. “Very well,” Ava said. “You taught them well.”

 

Gary looked at her, clearly puzzled. “Well, of course, that’s my job. Why are you saying this and being nice?”

 

Ava sighed. She was never good at apologies. “I wanted to apologize for what transpired earlier. We are friends. We were, rather but I want us to be friends too.”

 

Gary smiled. “I would like that Ava.” They walked over to the corner of the stage from where they could look at everyone. Well, that and, that was the closest place to Sara. Sara was doing the trust fall with John now.

 

Sara caught her eyes and tilted her head, smirking.

 

“You’re staring,” Gary said. “So are you,” Ava said.

 

Gary, sweet, lovely Gary remained bashful as ever, looking at John. “You didn’t deny.”

 

Ava shrugged, looking at Sara chuckling with John. An urge to roll her eyes and throw John off the cast was steadily on the rise. She then wondered why it was because just because she was attracted to someone doesn’t mean she liked them, did it? And just because she happened to kind of fancy the said person didn’t mean she had to act on it, did it? Ava shook herself out of the endless torture of her thoughts again, and said, “yeah, you didn’t either.”

 

Gary pushed his glasses with his finger and smiled. “Yeah,” and that was that.

 

“I asked her if she wants to hang out with me, by the way,” Ava said, in a way that she hoped came across as, you asked me to own what I’m feeling and that is what I am doing.

 

“Yeah?” Gary excitedly asked. “I am glad you did that, Ava!” he said, putting her arms around her in an awkward, side hug.

 

Gary’s eyes wandered and Ava followed them to find John having a doughnut. “Well I’m off, I am going to go have a… um, a doughnut,” he said, half paying attention to what he was saying and scurried off.

 

That’s when Ava spotted Sara walking towards her.

 

“Hi,” Sara said, “let’s go there?” she said pointing towards the table.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Ava said, walking with her. “Did you have fun falling on people?”

 

“Ava, it’s like you don’t know me at all. It was the most fun I’ve had. I never once fell and never let anyone fall,” Sara said in a tone that didn’t seem sarcastic but then again, she wasn’t quite sure.

 

“Well maybe you’re just that trustworthy,” Ava said.

 

“Maybe, or maybe I am just that strong,” she said, showing her arms off.

 

Ava’s breath hitched and she smiled while shaking her head. “That too,” she agreed.

 

“I honestly cannot believe Oliver bought doughnuts,” Sara said, choosing a pink icing one and taking a huge bite out of it.

 

“He probably did it to patronize me,” Ava said, leaning against the table and smiling at those who came to get the script.

 

“Despite his um, quirks such as ruining your entire schedule, he is actually a pretty good guy,” Sara said while taking a bite. “And, he doesn’t actually hate you. He is just a bit oblivious to the obvious things he does, that’s all.”

 

“Anyway, we’re walking back together and having cupcakes at that café, aren’t we?” Sara asked, the pink icing on both sides of her lips. Ava grabs a tissue paper from her bag and wipes the corners of Sara’s mouth.

 

Sara intensely watched her do that and despite feeling her burning gaze, Ava did everything but look into her eyes.

 

“Yeah,” Ava said at last. “We’ll have cupcakes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might be projecting my cravings for something sweet in this chapter. sorry for the late, late upload and also for the quality of it. uni is obliterating everything i hold dear.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> Hope this was worth your time! Please comment if you feel like I need to improve on something or if you just want to make my day! ^_^  
> Come say hi on [ tumblr](http://pandurvasbox.tumblr.com/)


End file.
